[ 04-07-03 ] [ 7:46 p.m.]
[ Geometry craziness ]

This whole Dan melodrama is simply becoming a disaster. United States certified. Except this time, it's not his fault. Oh, no. Not his at all.

It's mine.

I don't think I will ever be able to forget the look on Alex's face when he read that bit of bio from the Rebel Alliance program. I still haven't been able to quite place what it was, but I know it must have stirred some sympathetic emotion in him, because the next thing out of his mouth was not "A guy likes YOU? Ha ha!"

No. It was more along the lines of "That's sweet."

I nearly tackled the kid, before recalling that if I tackled him, my chances of making him my beau before the end of the school year would be dimmed slightly. So, while I sat in the fourth row, second chair, in room 410, I fought that lovely temper of mine (see entry two).

Alex and I obviously see totally different on this matter. He thinks it's sweet that a guy would declare his love for his ex-girlfriend in a play program that who knows how many people are going to see?! I think it's--- well, okay. He's got me there. It would be totally sweet... IF IT WEREN'T ME IN THIS SITUATION! It's not that I'm embarrassed, it's that I want this stuff to stop. I don't want to be told, by Dan, that I'm the one pulling crap and that he doesn't want to go to Prom with me because I'm just "crawling back" to him, and then have him turn around and tell everybody and their mother that he loves me! Would you want to be the victim of that stuff? If you ask yourself honestly, would you?

Unless the person is a person you really, truly want to be with forever, then I hope you answered "no".

Just in case you haven't already guessed, Dan is NOT the person I want to be with forever. He's about 1,562 on my list. Possibly a little lower, after a stunt like this.

I made the exact same point (about being victimized, et cetera) to Alex, and he said he knew what I meant. He also said, that if he was Dan and I was, well, me, he would have never sent me that hate e-mail, but he probably would've put a happy little "shout-out" to me in his cast program.

Do you have any idea what it's like to hear something like that from the person you like? Heartening, isn't it? I got that warm gooshy feeling just like I do when I read a really good bit of slash. I don't remember exactly what I did after he said that, but I don't think I did anything stupid, like spill my Mountain Dew on myself. Although it's seriously plausible, because at that exact moment I looked right into those pretty green eyes of his and got gooshy again.

Oh, holy God, this is turning into a fucking romance novel, only seven entries into the damn diary.

Well, not to worry, you anti-romantics. I'm about to make this seriously non-romantic. I have an awful, sinking feeling that Tim knows I like Alex. We were giving each other load after load of shit this morning in Geometry, you know, just the friendly razzing. I was giving him a hard time about his inability to find me a suitable Prom date, and he was giving me a hard time about my inability to get a suitable Prom date. It was mostly "Heather's so damn ugly that she couldn't even go with a mirror because it would break!" Thank you, Tim!

Anyway, Tim leaned over and typed the following: "Heather's List of Possible Prom Dates." And right underneath that, do you know what he put? Well, I bet you could guess...

Alex. Were you right?

And then he stopped! Didn't put a single other name! Just went back over to his own computer and started working happily on his geometry-project house. But before he could get too involved in THAT, he got Alex's attention. "Hey Alex, you might want to take a look at Heather's Prom date list!"

He did. He came trotting over, and before I could delete or minimize the document, he saw. I could have died. I was completely embarrassed.

Worse yet, Tim started giggling as though this were the funniest damn thing he'd ever seen in his life. Well, I was pissed. Tim's a good friend, sure, but his jokes are so damn MEAN sometimes! I slapped him upside the head and followed Alex back to our seats, and we got into a lovely discussion about who had actually written Alex's name on my list, and after I had gotten done trying to convince him that it wasn't me, we got around to discussing Prom. And then, Alex said that if I was "really nice" to him for the next week or so, he'd consider asking me.

Can you say "BINGO!"? Betcha can!

You know my definition of "really nice"? A nice big Mountain Dew for Alex tomorrow morning. Of course, I'll have to buy one for Tim and Velora so it won't look suspicious. And maybe tomorrow, I'll pass Alex my answers for the homework before the bell rings. Of course, I do that every day.

Well, when the bell rang, you might imagine that I was feeling some mixed emotions. I was so starstruck about what Alex had said, and yet I was still mad at Tim for the stunt he pulled. And in the back of my head, I was still steaming about the Dan crapola. As soon as Alex was out of earshot, I was rip-roaring to give Tim a piece of my mind. Several, actually.

He didn't hear me. He was listening to the new Linkin Park CD.

But I caught him by our lockers later, before fourth hour. Just the sight of him got me mad again, and so I approached him already babbling about the stunt he pulled in Geometry.

But he cut me off mid-sentence. He told me to "chill, because I'm just trying to help." I told him to please forgive me for not seeing where exactly his helping hand was helping things. He looked at me, a look on his face that said simply "DUH!", and said, "Alex is just as crazy about you as you are about him."

Right away I wanted to know two things. #1: How the hell do you know I'm crazy about Alex? And #2: REALLY???

As it turns out, really. According to Tim. Alex hasn't actually TOLD Tim he likes me, but Tim says that because he's been carefully observing people like this for years, he picks up on the signs.

If there's one thing I ever learned about Tim, it's that, however exhuberant his tales seem, they all turn true at some point or another. So do I believe him?

You bet I do.

Of course, I'd probably believe him even if he were known for tall tales.

I just want to see Alex tomorrow so bad. I really hope he's as crazy for me as I am for him.

Because that would make him my prom date for sure.

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