[ 04-08-04 ] [ 7:21 a.m.]
[ Helping men get up ]

I was slightly squicked this morning to find a letter in my kots.com mailbox with a subject line of "Super Viagra - Be Big Man in Bed". Getting stupid advertisements for male enhancement never used to bother me before, until I really thought about the implications of "Super Viagra". See, it's bad enough that a Nextel Cup car has to be sponsored by Viagra, but I can just see what's going to happen when the people at Pfizer tell poor Mark Martin that they want him to endorse Super Viagra...

That poor man. Seriously. Would you like to go around with the Viagra logo plastered on your chest? Particularly if you looked like Mark Martin, which, I'm sorry to say, is someone who I could see using the stuff, even though he's only like 46.

The whole implication of Viagra squicks me bad. It's not so much the fact that guys need to take the stuff to get up, as it were, and I'm perfectly fine about talking about Viagra and Enzyte and Cialis and stuff, because it doesn't bother me much. (In fact, Enzyte is only really embarrassing to me because of their horribly tacky commercials. Cialis, on the other hand, had enough taste to do their commercials, well, tastefully.) What grosses me out about Viagra is where the word "Viagra" came from. It's a direct take off the word "vigorous". I don't know, but somehow when I think of Viagra, and therefore "vigorous", I think of old guys and I get majorly squicked. Yet somehow when I think of Enzyte or Cialis, it's the same exact bi-product, yet it doesn't gross me out in the slightest.

Also, the Viagra thing might have something to do with Mark Martin, who used to race in Wisconsin back in the days when my dad was a crew chief.

More on the subject of Viagra (I know, I'm almost done), I'm torn between laughing my ass off and puking when I see those new commercials with the old dudes dancing around to Queen's "We Are the Champions". Just the very concept of those commercials is tactless and wrong on so many levels. And I think the thought of old guys running around joyously because they rediscovered the power of the erection has permanently ruined that song for me.

But like I said, only Viagra squicks me. I think that's because it's the only one that actually sounds like what it's made for.

Okay, I'm done talking about male enhancement. I'm going out to lunch with my grandma today, and as we all know, my grandma never runs out of things to talk about. If we hit upon something interesting, I'll be sure to write about it, and try to take your minds off the Viagra for a moment.

Certainly, I could use the distraction.

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