[ 12-01-03 ] [ 12:00 a.m.]
[ Heather's Christmas List ]
Since I'm very smelly (as a result of spending two hours at Golf Central with the weight loss program I call Dance Dance Revolution) and highly bored, I've decided to start off December (and hopefully regular journaling) with a fun entry. Yes, you read me correctly, a fun entry. I don't know when the last time I did one of those was. Anyway, before I digress into my diary's past, I suppose I'll tell you the topic of the fun entry: "Drop-dead sexy guys that I haven't met that I would really, really like to see sitting under my Christmas tree come Christmas morning with bows on their heads and tags that say 'Merry Christmas, Heather' on their naked chests." Or, for short, let's just call this fun entry "Heather's Christmas List."
#1: Tony Stewart. Ahem. If you didn't know this was coming, you must be blind and are now attempting to read this entry in Braille. All the farther you have to go to get a look at this man is to scroll up to the top of the page. Yeah, that's him. Some of you people *cough*Carol*cough* may think he's not all that great looking, but to me he is highly appealing. Not only that, he drives it like he's stolen it. Up until about two weeks ago, Tony was the only person alive to capture the USAC Triple Crown (and now, thanks to J.J. Yeley, there's a Tony Stewart soon-to-be running around. *scowl*) Tony is the 2002 NASCAR Winston Cup champion, and king of my heart. He has been for years. Mark Tony (and all of his 'semi-tall dark and handsome'ness) as high priority material. Mommy, can I have him, please?
#2: Chad Pennington. Aha. A man who plays a sport that requires running. For that he has my full admiration. Aside from that, he's currently the quarterback for a football team that was once so bad that its fans showed their support by hiding behind paper bags. (I'm quite serious about that. I even have photographic proof.) That team is the New York Jets, my current favorite football team. (There's just something about the green and white combination!) Chad, #10, is 6'3, all freckles, curly red hair, and green eyes. The boy looks so damn Irish, and we all know that Irish equals irresistable. I'll have a number 10, super sized!
#3: Aaron Eckhart. I first got interest in Aaron from watching "Any Given Sunday." And why, might you ask, was I interested? Simply: my jaw dropped open and my eyes got ten times bigger. I remained in this position for about twenty minutes, when I realized I was standing in a four foot deep puddle of my own drool. Recently seen in "The Core" (which has become one of my favorite movies, remember this entry?) and "The Missing" (*sniff*, but alas, no spoilers. Yet.) Aaron is just getting hotter. Not only cinematically, either, even though any sane director would cast him as a lead in some groundbreaking piece of cinematic drama. (I'd love to see him in an M. Night Shyamalan film. First, though, I'd like to see him in my bed...) Mark perishable. He's so damn hot he's melting!
#4: Joe Rogan. I swear to God, this isn't Fear Factor bias talking. Joe happens to be one of those very dark, very mysterious-looking guys. The kind that, if it weren't for that little smirk, you'd get the feeling you should be very afraid of. Not only is he hot (and buff), he's also the biggest smart-ass I have ever not met. He's incredibly funny, as my friends can attest to (because once I made them read one of his pieces on religion and culticism) and he hosts Fear Factor. Not a bad combination. Not a bad combination at all. You might want to get a rope for him though - he may not come quietly, and he'll probably find uses for said rope later.
#5: Brendan Fraiser. Ah, yes. What girl wouldn't like Brendan to jump to her rescue, guns blazing, a la "Mummy"? I sure would. I'd milk it for all I could, too, because da-yum, having Brendan Fraiser rescue me would be like being told I could eat ice cream three meals a day for the rest of my life and not gain an ounce. Aside from the hero stuff, he's a major hottie. Even though he's not as young as he looks, that hardly matters. What matters, my friends, is the hair. Yes, the hair. *sigh* Ever notice how it falls in his eyes at just the right time? I certainly do. Rush delivery, please, I need a rescuing from cardiac arrest!
#6: Casey Affleck. Easily the youngest guy on this list, Casey is thus the closest to my age. (Heh.) Unfortunately, his last name is all but a mark of shame, seeing who his *cough* relatives are. (You figure it out. Who else do you know is named 'Affleck'?) I first fell for Casey upon seeing 'Ocean's Eleven', where I got totally giggly over the upper lip scruff and the curly dark brown hair. And you know what, every time I watch that movie, I get toothaches at how completely sweet Casey looks. Please include a doctor with delivery of Mr. Affleck, as he's known to induce sugar shock.
#7: Matt Kenseth. He really doesn't belong on this list, seeing as he's the only one on the list I've actually met. Of course, I was eight years old at the time, so I'm personally allowing Matt onto my wishlist. Matt is this year's and the final NASCAR Winston Cup champ, and he looked damn sexy doing it. Aside from being from Wisconsin (a major perk), he's the cutest blonde guy ever, except for maybe Brad Pitt (see #8). Matt has really pretty brown eyes, and a gap between his front teeth that just makes me wonder what it would be like to run my tongue through it. Send cheese with Matt, please; I'll make sure I put it to good use.
#8: Brad Pitt. Ahh, you can't top a classic. Certainly not this classic. People who don't think Brad Pitt is hot must be highly dillusional or highly blind. Brad can set the world on fire with his very presence. I'd be willing to bet that he can make women spontaneously combust just by lifting a finger. If someone were to make a portrait of him, it would likely be more famous than the Mona Lisa. More gawked at, too. My favorite movie of Brad's? 'Ocean's Eleven'. What's not completely hot about Brad Pitt in Vegas stealing 150 million dollars? Surgeon General's warning states that Brad is heat-stroke inducing. (And the Surgeon General speaks from experience.)
#9: Jason Behr. Also known as 'the Roswell hottie', Jason got his break playing Max on the t.v. show Roswell that, unfortunately, only lived three years. Still, if it wasn't Roswell that did it, it would've been something. The boy has got fine written all over him, in permanent ink! He is the epitome of tall, dark, and handsome. It's no wonder that he was cast for Roswell, because he's completely out of this world. (Okay, corny connection there.) He's also got the gentlest voice I've ever heard. Something about his voice just gets to me. (But not as much as the rest of him.) Spaceship sold for an extra $50, batteries not included.
#10: Brett Favre. We started with a sports legend, and now we end with one. I have idolized Brett Favre since I was little, and I grew up thinking of him as the cutest man alive. Now that I look at him, I notice how hot he really is - for a guy pushing forty, he's still damn hot! Maybe it's the freckles... hmm... Or maybe it's the Mississippian accent. Either way, you can't deny the guy's power. This year he's got a broken thumb and is throwing the ball like nobody's business. (Granted, sometimes he does throw to the members of the opposing team.) I grew up idolizing him, and I still do - just now, I think he's hot. Football will surely miss him once he's retired. Comes complete with his very own Lombardi trophy, thank you very much!
So that's my Christmas list. You've still got 24 days left to get the shopping done, so scoot! Oh, and, don't forget the cheese with Matt, okay?
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