[ 11-05-03 ] [ 7:41 p.m.]
[ A sanctuary ]

Now I know it was a good idea to lock this thing up.

I'm being constantly harrassed by Bo. No matter where I turn, he's always around me, trying to convince me that I am a dirty whore and a slut. At school, he'll push me and try to kick me; he calls me dirty things that should be said to no person; and online he stole Josh's screen name to berate me about what had happened, while I thought the person I was talking to was Josh, not Bo.

I am finding no peace.

He's waiting for me to make a slip, to say something that could be interpreted as a lie or 'different than my original pack of bullshit'. But I won't let him.

So from now on, this is my sanctuary. I feel safe putting my private thoughts down only here. And if anybody, ANYBODY tells Bo or Josh or anyone who would tell Bo or Josh the password into this diary, you will be hurt severely. *cough*

Not that I think that you would do that. That's why I gave you the password, because I know you, and you know me, and you're not about to go off and sell out my secrets.

So anyway. Bo is a nuisance; a six foot tall, 250 pound nuisance, who must be dealt with in the only way I know how to deal; he has to be ignored. I try my hardest, but he's very persistent. He's pushing as hard as he can, but I won't let him see me give. In fact, I don't plan on giving at all.

Some good has come out of Bo being an ass, though. Today after school in the cafeteria, the normal 'nerdy kid, slightly psychotic kid, Magic:The Gathering kid' (the complete and accurate description of my group of friends) hangout, Bo was pushing again. Calling me whore, screaming it across the cafeteria, trying to push me over. He drew the ire of two people, and for their defensiveness I'm grateful, because without Chris and Alex, I might've snapped today.

When Bo got close enough to try to touch me, he was screaming louder than ever. "WHORE!" It was really pissing me off. And then, "YOU DON'T DESERVE TO LIVE, YOU FAT BITCH!" That was what got both Chris and Alex going. I'm defensive about my weight, because I know I'm not as thin as I once was, and when someone calls me fat, it sets me off. Anyone who knows me at all knows this. So Chris, being at least as tall as Bo, but not as heavy, got Bo out of the cafeteria, and Alex held me back. Both were very concerned about me (Chris told me I looked like a mad rhinoceros, which I took as a compliment, considering.) but I told them I was fine. I was fine as soon as Bo left, I said.

And for yet another time in my young life, I stood there confused, conflicting emotions taking over.

I like Chris. I also still like Alex.

Uh oh.

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