[ 08-17-03 ] [ 9:32 a.m.]
[ Thoughts on the girl and stuff ]

I've gotta get better at remembering to check the little box to put entries in my private folder.

I feel really bad about ignoring my diary, but I can only keep my attention span on one thing for so long. Now that I'm not really writing for any audiences (like, reviewers, let's just say) I feel like I don't have to struggle every day to put out a piece of groundbreaking diarist work. Or whatever.

Not much to say about my relationship with the girl. It feels a lot like our relationship before we became a "couple". We were having sex long before then, and now that we still are, it doesn't feel any different. I'm having some second thoughts about this. I'm not really sure I want to go into my senior year without the ability to obtain a steady high-school boyfriend like I've always wanted. But there's not much I can really do about it. I mean, how do I tell the girl that I don't really want to be in an emotional relationship with her? I think maybe I'm homophobic. Except the fact that I love slash. And I'm perfectly okay with having sex with a girl. I just... I dunno. I don't love her like she thinks I do. This is turning into a really tangled mess.

But I'm too tired to think on it any longer. I'm off to read Seabiscuit (really, this time.)

[ ]

[ last ] [ next ]