[ 09-16-03 ] [ 8:04 a.m.]
[ Boys *explatives* suck. ]

Hello, and welcome to I-ignore-my-diary.com!

Well, it's accurate, isn't it?

Life has gotten infinitely more messed up in these past days. I don't know where I stand as far as relationships go, but I know that Alex is out of the picture permanently. The attraction just isn't there anymore. He isn't mature enough for a girlfriend, and I'm not going to stoop to his level to try to get him to notice me. Which means, simply, that I have no boy and no homecoming date.

Last Friday, Dawn and I spent the bulk of fifth hour making a list of potential boy candidates. The list we came up with is pretty pathetic. Okay, it's downright horrible. She even suggested that I ask a freshman on the Satellite staff out (but I shot down that plan by telling her that he already has a girlfriend.) We listed Chris, Sarah's ex-boyfriend who may be potentially interested in me; CJ, a friend of mine (but a sophomore); and Cory, a guy who I've never met but Rosie assures me that I would like him and that he would like me. Also on that list was Mikey (aka Shrimp) but from the way he and Sarah were acting at the dance, I don't think he'd go for me.

This sucks so bad. If I weren't so desperate for a boyfriend maybe I could just be happy with who I am and focus on my grades.

The dance Friday was a disaster. I lost my mother's cell phone, and in the ensuing hysteria, Sarah and I got in a fight that led me to lose my temper and slap her. We're cool now, but I think our friendship is damaged in a way that won't be healed for a very long time, if at all. Neither of us really has the time to repair our friendship either; we're both seniors and by the end of the year we may never see each other again.

Where was I? And why am I so desperate for a boyfriend?

Okay. About those boys that we listed. It looks like Chris is my best bet. I like him, and someone hinted to me that he likes me. The only thing I'm worried about is Sarah. I don't know how she feels about him yet, and if she still likes him, I don't want to screw up out relationship even worse by dating him if she still likes him. CJ is a nice guy, but he's definitely not my type. Besides that, we don't know each other very well yet, since we only started hanging out at the beginning of the year. Cory... well, I don't know the guy. Rosie assures me that we'll get along great (once she introduces us) but I'm not so sure I like the whole blind date type of idea. I guess what I'm really after is not a boyfriend, but a homecoming date. Going to homecoming stag is not fun. I learned my lesson last year. Carol and Liz, while wonderful friends, don't make very good homecoming dates. The year before last, I went to homecoming with Travis (and that was no fun either. Travis has never been interested in me, and visa versa. We both just needed dates.)

There was one other guy that Dawn suggested that I may consider: Josh. While kind of nerdy and not all that attractive, Josh and I get along, and we're pretty good friends. He appriciates my gross humor, and we have a lot of the same interests. But I don't know... a lot of my friends think my reputation might get damaged if I date Josh.

I don't know. I'm not talking about lifetime commitment here. I just want a homecoming date.

I hate boys.

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