[ 07-26-03 ] [ 5:00 p.m.]
[ Does it matter? ]

Once again, it's come to that point where I need to ask myself whether it's worth it for me to continue to review. It's come to the point where I wonder if I should just take my reviews and go, what for all the nice things I've had said about me over my tenure here.

People seem to like me. They seem to think that I write well. I've had 12-year-old reviewers who think I'm funny. I've had 16- and 17-year-olds who understand me. I've had 30-somethings who read my writing and reminisce about their lives as a teen. It doesn't matter which age group - there seems to be someone from every crop who gets me. Who wants to get me.

Aside from being showered with compliments, especially from review sites I hold a very high esteem for, I've met wonderful, amazing people that brighten my day and in the rare and cherished case have become like my very own siblings. A good percentile of people who read me are reviewers, most of which I asked to delve into my life and tell me honestly what they think, and ended up liking me that much.

I've been exploring the reviewing spectrum lately. I've personally concluded that the goods outweigh the bads, and that alone would be enough to make me stay at USA, and would make me continue requesting reviews.

Pros and cons or not. What matters is asking yourself if it matters.

Does it honestly matter that much to you to have to have someone you have never met before tell you what they think about you, a person they have never met, and that persons' life, which they have never lived. Does it matter that much to you to have your personal style and tastes examined from every angle? Does it matter that much to you to have to have someone else's opinion to make you decide how you feel about yourself?

I starting requesting reviews so I would get the gratification I needed, so I could convince myself that I was really as good as I thought I was. I request reviews now because I like to be complimented, but I'm not sure I need anyone else's words to be confident about myself and who I am.

I'm not sure it matters to me. I'm not sure someone else's opinion matters to me above my own. I have a legion of D-land friends who all support me when I need it, and while out of many of the people I know I value their opinion, I'm not sure their opinions are more than mine.

Why do we need the gratification that reviews give? Why do we crave the satisfaction? Why do we go away upset when we weren't told what we wanted to hear?

Why do so many reviewers give the answers they know they want others to hear?

Why do we even care? Why aren't we strong enough to get self-confidence from ourselves?

Why does it matter that we're given compliments? Why does it matter that we're given criticism?

Why do we care so much?

And does it matter that we care?

[ ]

[ last ] [ next ]