[ 07-21-03 ] [ 8:12 p.m.]
[ Whose idea was it to make a drivers' test? ]

And this is the part of my life where I beg everyone I see to knock on wood repeated times, avoid unlucky 13 like the plague, and pray their asses off for me.

Tomorrow we play round three of the Drivers' Test Tournament.

I know it really isn't funny, but by now taking my drivers' test is becoming an Adam Sandler movie as opposed to something like, say, Silence of the Lambs. Okay, maybe I'm exaggerating a little, but really. The first time I failed, it was understandable. The second time I failed, it was so uncalled for it was funny. Funny how I almost beat the shit out of my tester right there in the middle of the Department of Motor Vehicles.

That aside. What humorous things happened to me during my first two attempts at becoming a licensed driver? The first test was in February, and I took my mom's Explorer which has a horrible reputation for breaking down. Well, guess what? In the middle of my y-turn, the motor died. It's not surprising I failed; after all, I was driving a vehicle that wasn't up to the snuff the Bitch Lady who tested me wanted.

The second time, my tester was who is so affectionately deemed "Hitler" throughout the Fox Valley. Why "Hitler"? Because he's never, ever, ever passed someone he's never tested before. I hadn't had him, so it was practically a guarantee that I wasn't going to pass. Aside from making one wide turn, I did everything acceptably, including parallel parking twice - in a Ford F150. If that can't win that man over, I don't know what can...

So, tomorrow, I go with my aunt Pam (who isn't actually my aunt... she was just my babysitter from birth) to D-T #3. I'm taking the Nissan, which is probably a good thing, considering taking drivers' tests in big vehicles hasn't garnered the best results. My mom and I just got back from a rather stony driving session which involved her trying to make conversation and me not answering. I still haven't forgiven her for the stunt she pulled last week.

However, that's beside the point. The point is now that I need all of you out there who are reading this to wish me luck.

Because with my track record with drivers' tests, I just might need it.

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