[ 03-09-05 ] [ 11:30 a.m.]
[ The world is out to piss me off ]

I'm really beginning to hate Diaryland and the internet in general. I just had a long bitchy entry eaten by the great purple monster, and it's beginning to piss me off. God damn Diaryland - I don't want to put all the effort into writing another entry.

But I will anyway. I can't promise it's going to be an astonishing, ground-breaking piece of literature.

I'm not enjoying the fact that I can't even relax when I'm supposed to be home over break, because I'm worrying about everything. First about my doctor's appointment, then about my teeth, now about my blood iron and trying to find a job... the list keeps going. It's like doing chores. Now, once you're finished worrying about this, you can worry about that, and don't forget to worry about that too...

Part of the problem is probably because my parents think I'm going to randomly decide to fuck up my entire life and make a living out of being a bum on a street corner or something. They're calling a family meeting tonight just to tell me to get a job. And because my mom made some stupid hints on the way home from college on Saturday, I've got this sort of sinking feeling that they're going to tell me that they can't afford to pay for the rest of my college tuition and are going to make me go to tech school. "There's nothing wrong with technical college," says my mother. "It would give you a chance to live at home and work." I don't want to go to tech school. I'll kick and scream if I have to. Nobody in this day and age is going to make a living by going to tech school. And aside from that, as much as I miss it sometimes, I don't want to live at home. It would be just like high school - my mom telling me what to do, checking to make sure I've done my homework, and calling my professors. I like my freedom, even though college life can be a bitch. And my mom is far too overprotective. Part of the reason why NMU was so appealing at first was that I am just the perfect distance away - close enough to be visited and to be able to go home, but far enough away that my mom can't come up every damn weekend and bug the shit out of me.

I'm not feeling particularly agreeable today. I just fucking hope this meeting tonight goes quickly. I'm sick of being preached at. I'm eighteen years old, and contrary to some beliefs, that is perfectly old enough to take care of oneself at times. I may still need her help, but I don't need my mom to live my life.

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